Science Behind Lying
White Lies - The Art of Lying
Lying can often be easier and kinder than the truth, and anybody who claims they’ve never lied is probably lying right then. But it’s surprising to see the stark figure that we lie, on average, ten times a week. But why do we lie so often – and at what point does lying become pathological?
Is it healthy to tell lies? To keep your married life running smoothly, we need to tell white lies. If your partner comes home with a new dress for you and says, ‘What do you think of this?’ Whether you like it or not, you’re going to say it’s nice. We also lie to protect ourselves and others, and to inflate our ego. Some people live in a fantasy world and don’t tell the truth – people who for various disturbed functions in their psychological makeup feel the need to live a false existence. Most people dip into falsehood now and again to avoid a difficult situation or make a friend happy.
Be confident, you are not going to be detected easily while lying. Humans are not particularly good at judging whether someone else is lying. Whether you believe you’re good at spotting falsehoods or not, most people can tell when another’s lying around 24 per cent of the time.
9 Tips to become a better liar
Our lies often have their reason- to protect us, or protect others, while respecting them. The proof of that is that we spin tales more frequently for “a good cause” than of pure selfishness.
- Keep your head up:
In all shows, there is always that moment when the magician risks being discovered. This is an instinctive gesture that we all do when we are afraid of being caught, to apologise to our conversation partner. In such a scenario, keep your head straight up. This will prevent the other person from getting suspicious.
- Use the phone:
Sometimes lying is much simpler over the phone. “I’m going through a tunnel, I have no signal…” It is normal; you can conjure up stories without even having to control your attitude, reflexes or responses to inquisitive looks. In such cases, we must be able to control our voices. The delights of deception makes our voices drop a pitch, in order to sound more stable and assured, but lying also exposes us to three negative emotions – fear of getting caught, shame and guilt – and these may just manifest in our voices.
- Repeat the scenario:
If you are telling a story, you first need to integrate it as a complete theatre role. Being an actor does not mean just to learn words. It is also necessary to be at one with your thoughts and emotions. These are the things that will generally reflect your words and some techniques can better reflect what it feels like:
– Begin and end sentences clearly.
– Take note of punctuation marks, especially full-stops.
– Sustain consonants that make words ring.
– Speak clearly.
– Work on your expressive diction.
- Control your actions:
“Our body speaks its own language and never lies,” is a statement very often believed by hypnotherapist and a doctor in psychology. If you’re not careful, some little gestures will only end up betraying you.
Embarrassed by your hands, you slip them into your pockets or you lay them on your hips.
You sputter, your smile trembles and cracks as you declare how much you love the gift you just received
You touch your face, you scratch your ear, place a finger on your lips, you rub your eyes or nose to justify your delay in response.
Your face, your hands, your arms punctuate your words belatedly, and in a somewhat mechanical way.
You display a grimace instead of a grin while expressing your joy of learning promoting a colleague.
- Do not say too much:
You call a friend to postpone a lunch or date. Listening to you presenting your perfectly oiled explanations, she begins to find this suspicious; there is just too much justification. To avoid getting caught, you think, better increase the size of your tale: the bigger it gets, the more credible it will seem. Because of its magnitude, it cannot possibly be invented. Your neighbour has just appeared at your doorstep in tears with the mangled body of his little cat, dead in his arms… how could that possibly be fake?
- Put on your sincere face:
Instead of looking in the eye, aim for the tip of nose. It is less destabilizing and you do not have the look diagonally, distant and elusive, whilst you spin your yarn. Establishing good communication requires eye contact for 60-70% of the time of the dialogue
- Deviate from the truth:
A good lie always contains an element of truth. For example: “I have an appointment with the dermatologist…” is a good primer. Then the embroidery comes in: “… to check my moles.
- Do not say I:
You dare not say to a friend, who asks you to hire his son, that your company does not employ idlers. Instead, you entrench yourself behind objective, impersonal, irrefutable facts.
- Clean the floor:
Practicing an activity to pass the time is unquestionably the best camouflage for a lie. The ideal situation should be, while Lying, you are behind some sort of wall or partition, in order to neutralize body language, which is less controllable than words. It is essentially a way of saying that those with mowing the lawn or trimming hedges are at an advantage for if they want to lie.
Four Lies To Never Tell Your Spouse
Every lie tells a truth. As we deceive in one area of life, a truth is revealed about another area.
Lying in marriage reveals the true unhealthiness of the relationship. A lie doesn’t mean the whole relationship is unhealthy, but it does show an area of serious concern.
Beware of the following lies in marriage:
- Lies of Location: Except for the possible planning of a surprise party or trip, you should never have to lie to your spouse about where you have been or where you are going.
- Lies of Communication: Your spouse should be aware of every form of communication available to you. You should never have a secret email account or an unknown cell phone number. While your job may require certain elements of confidentiality, I do not hide whom I’m speaking with. There is no reason to have secret conversations with others which your spouse cannot find out about.
- Lies of Finance: You can never know the number of people who make secret transactions without the knowledge or consent of their spouse. A financial lie is often a lie of extreme childishness. Unwilling or unable to come to a common ground with our spouse over a financial decision, we act like an 8–year-old and steal the cookie when we think no one is looking. Instead of lying, work on communication and negotiation. If you and your spouse still cannot agree on a purchase, don’t make the purchase
- Lies of Feelings: The most common lies seem innocent. Saying, “I don’t care” when you actually do. Saying, “That’s fine,” when it’s actually not. These lies conceal how we truly feel. Loving someone doesn’t mean we have the ability to predict how they feel at every moment. Communication is necessary. If we do not tell the truth about what we think and how we feel, true intimacy cannot take place. Lying about feelings reveals that we don’t trust our spouses enough to show them who we actually are.
Quotes About Lying
- “I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.”
“By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Lady make note of this --
One of you is lying.”
- “Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.”
- “History is a set of lies agreed upon.”
- “The best lies about me are the ones I told.”
- “A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies.”
- “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar”
- “The truth is always an insult or a joke, lies are generally tastier. We love them. The nature of lies is to please. Truth has no concern for anyone's comfort”